when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
