So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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