Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I won't apologize to a one balled man
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Randomize
