I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
