Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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