Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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