My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
