he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
