girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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