She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
