with your own penis?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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