you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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