I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
