The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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