At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I think I won the penis lottery.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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