she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
