Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
