marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
