in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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