you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
