I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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