Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
