You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
