I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Randomize
