hell yes lets make some ravioli
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
