look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He did a backflip because drugs
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
