she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
