Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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