my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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