Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
