what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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