this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
