I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
If I die, sorry about rent.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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