I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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