Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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