theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
