so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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