I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
