My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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