im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
