Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
