Having a random hookup so left but love u
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
