how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
