he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
