Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
