I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
is wine microwaveable?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize
