Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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