Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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