i just made my gag reflex go away.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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