another moral hangover. fuck.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
